Murder House Maelstrom
by Rigbutter96
Summary: AU. Moving into a new house is hard as is, but when you get caught in a web is lies, love, lust, and ghosts it can get worse. Join us as we explore this new rendition of the hit show.


AN: I just watched the first season, and I felt that it could use a bit of a pick me up, as I saw so many places where funny things could happen, and decided to go with, as usual, a crossover. Coincidentally, it is the FIRST of this kind between these two things.

I am changing things to fit into the story I have written out, that will follow the first season, but will not have the same events.

The Harmon's didn't move in, instead, they were already ghosts in the house.

The pairings are obvious:

Hashirama x Madoka

Naruto x Karui x Moira x Nora x Elizabeth x Maria

Oh, and you may notice that some people will be very OOC, and I hope that all of you can forgive me for it, as well as the fact that Moira will be the sexy one. No double forms, as that confused me a bit. The Harmans are also in the house, but they were before the Gay couple, but after Tate's shootout.

Enjoy!

(Chapter 1- Scooby Doo ain't got no shit on me!) (Pilot)

He had no idea why the flying fuck his parents chose this house, nor did he really see any reason for moving here, but hey, what could you do? It wasn't like his dad could be any less of an insane bastard who tried to fight you every chance he could.

Naruto Senju was the son of the famous author and supposed genius Hashirama Senju, and an ex-Black Ops woman named Madoka Uchiha. greatness ran through his veins, and many things were expected from the young genius/prodigy. God how he hated that word.

But that was the least of the eighteen year olds worries.

Stepping out of the backseat of the black Ford F-150 truck his Mom had bought, the youth gazed at the infamous Murder House. He was a tall guy, around 6'2", four inches shorter than his dad, with an aristocratic look to his face. His black hair was spiky and slightly long, part of his left eye covered by his hair. His eyes were red, like his Mom, with a sharp, piercing quality to them. He wore a white hoodie with black trim, unzipped, over a black shirt that had a dark red fox with Nine-tails on it. Around his neck were his black skullcandy headphones.

Looking at the gothic style house he felt a comment bubble up from nowhere. "Well, at least it's not on fire."

His father grinned in agreement as he sidled up to Naruto. "I couldn't agree more. Besides, you Mother picked the house. She said it had character, whatever the hell that means."

Hashirama Senju was a tall, 6'6" man with long brown hair and eyes. He had an easy going face and a gentle smile. He wore a red shirt with an oak on it, blue jeans, and brown loafers. He had the same body type of Naruto, with a thin, muscular frame, not unlike that of a runner or swimmer.

"And what is wrong with my choice?" Madoka Uchiha-Senju's voice called from behind them, making the two freeze as they turned and looked at their Mom/Wife respectively. She was a true beauty, with a very generous hourglass figure, and the same aristocratic features as Naruto had. She had long, waist length black hair that was spiky, and the same red eyes as him, too. She wore a black black t-shirt with a fan on it, with a loose, black skirt with sandals finishing the look.

Before the two could answer, a little black and red blur rammed into Naruto, nearly knocking him on his ass before he caught it, and held up what had to be the cutest little girl in the entire world. She had a cherub like face and a near permanent blush, brown eyes and a dark brownish-black hair that was pulled into a small ponytail. She wore a red sundress and sandals, with a wide smile on her face. "Big Brother, can we go play? Please? pretty please?"

The black haired teen smirked and stood to his full height, grabbing the girl and putting her on his shoulders, he said. "But of course, Miina. What kind of brother would I be if I said no to such a cute little four year old?"

Madoka sighed as she opened the door, already used to the weirdness that was her family. Walking into the foyer, she gave a smile as she examined the elegance of the house. She had some ideas to improve it, but for the most part she was going to keep it the way it was.

The split up, with Miina going with Madoka, while Hashirama and his son, and explored the house. The father and son duo walked into a rather large room and looked around. It was Hashirama who spoke first. "Well, mayhaps we can convince your Mom to let us turn this into a Dojo. That way, we can spar and you can keep up with your Kendo and martial arts."

The teen smirked as he said in a haughty tone. "And I can kick your Old ass."

"Please. I may have gotten older, but this 'Old Man' can still kick more ass than you."

Snorting, Naruto said. "Whatever. I'm gonna go find my room. And please, don't break anything."

"I make no promises."

He laughed as he walked away from his Dad and up the stairs. He looked down the hall and chose the room farthest from the stairwell. Entering, he looked at the walls that had been painted by the painters to fit his personality, which was a burnt orange with black trim. His king sized bed was in one of the corners, his TV on his dresser in front of it. Across from that was his desk, and his trophy shelf was against the opposite wall. Hooked up to his TV was his Xbox 360, and on his desk was his mac. He started to unpack the boxes in the room and put the movies on a lower shelf, the music above them, and his trophies for kendo and Martial Arts on the top shelf.

Hanging on the wall were his prized bokkens, given to him by his Grandfather. He hung up several posters of his favorite bands, Green Day, Breaking Benjamin, Cage the Elephant, Simple Plan, and Imagine Dragons. Carefully examining the room, he opened a box full of orange covered books that he neatly stacked in another box, this one metal with a lock, and slid it under his bed.

No one had to know that he had the entire series of Make-Out Paradise.

Nodding in satisfaction, he left to go see what the others of his family were doing.

(Elsewhere)

Madoka grinned happily as she examined the kitchen, happy that she would have a place to cook. She quickly unloaded all of the appliances and dishes, putting them in the correct cabinets and places. She heard a knocking on the back door, curious, she opened it.

Standing there was an older blonde woman with a beehive hairdo. She had a smile on her face as she stood there. "How may I help you?"

"Well, my name is Constance, your next door neighbor, and I just came by to welcome you to the Neighborhood." The blonde woman, now named Constance, said pleasantly.

Madoka smiled as she said. "Well, my name is Madoka Senju, would you like to come in for a cup of tea?"

They entered the kitchen and Madoka got some mugs out as she poured the tea. After taking a sip, Constance asked. "My apologies for asking, but I don't recognize your name."

"Oh, it's alright. My name is Japanese. My husband and I moved to America some nineteen years ago. I get that alot."

"Japanese you say? How...exotic." Constance said dramatically. "Would you happen to have any children?"

"Yes. I have an eighteen year old son named Naruto and a four year old daughter named Miina. They're my pride and joy." Madoka answered. "Do you happen to have any children, Constance?"

Constance had a look in her eye that Madoka couldn't really place, and answered. "I have a daughter named Adelaide, but I call her Addie. I apologize if she appears in your home, she has a habit of appearing here uninvited."

"Oh, it's fine. So long as she stops by the kitchen for some tea and cookies before she leaves, she's welcome here anytime. My husband and I have a policy of never turning away a person, no matter what."

That got Constance to smile as she asked in a sweet voice. "And your husband? What does he do?"

Madoka gave a genial smile as she happily answered. "Hashirama is a journalist and author. we actually met when he interviewed me about the Japanese Homeland defense Force."

Constance had a gleam in her eye as she said. "Well now, what an interesting career. Why, I wish to meet him."

"Don't worry, Constance. I'm sure you will."

(With Naruto and Hashirama)

Looking into the darkness of the attic, the father son duo got to work. Grabbing the boxes of random crap that they took with them, they neatly stacked them in rows across the attic,

And by neatly stacked, I mean they just tossed them around randomly with no apparent care for rhyme or reason.

Afterwards, Naruto opened a certain box and gagged at what he saw. "Dad, what the fuck is this?! Why do you and Mom even have this?!"

In the box was an assortment of sexual devices that were most likely used when Madoka and Hashirama were getting a bit bored with the sex life, and he really didn't want to know just why the hell they were here.

Looking inside, Hashirama said in a happy voice. "Oh hey! You found those! Good! Your mother shall be most pleased, and mayhaps even reward me tonight!"

"Goddamn! I didn't need to know that! I have no interest in the sex life of my parents!"

"It is a natural thing, you know. All men and women will have sexual relations eventually."

"I call bullshit!"

"Gahahaha!"

"Don't laugh like it's a joke! I have no interest in knowing the weird shit you two do in bed!"

"Well, first off, I stick my-"

"I don't wanna know!"

"Gahahaha!"

Naruto left his laughing father in the attic as he left, only to hear the doorbell ring. Straightening himself out from the blushing mess that he was after the awkward, at least for him, conversation with his father, he went to the foyer and opened the door to see what had to be one of the hottest woman he had ever seen standing there, wearing a maid uniform.

She had curly red hair and seductive brown eyes, wearing a short skirted maid uniform with stockings held up by a black garter belt, her feet clad in black heels. She sent him a seductive smirk as she said. "Excuse me, but is this the Senju residence?"

He nodded. "Yeah, it is. Can I help you?"

"I'm sure you could, but I'm here to speak to one of the owners. When your parents signed the agreement, they also signed up for a maid service." The woman replied in a cool voice.

Naruto frowned and closed his eyes as he tried to recall if that were true. "Um, okay. So, may I inquire as to what your name may be?"

"My name is Moira. A pleasure, Mr...?"

"Naruto."

"Hmm, sound Japanese."

"That's 'cuz it is. My parents are from Japan."

"How...exotic." The way she said 'exotic' was what caught his attention, and it took all of his strength to remember his smoking hot girlfriend who had moved here last summer.

Like Naruto, Karui's parents were immigrants from Japan from years ago. She was in his grade as well, and they had been dating back in Colorado, but when she moved to Los Angeles, they had only spoken over the phone. Now that he was here, though, they could spend more time together, since she wasn't even two miles away.

"Yeah well, maybe I should take you to my Mom so you two can talk about just what you'll be doing." He waved for her to follow him as he lead her through the house, casually showing her where things were. They reached the kitchen fairly quickly, and without a single incident, and came upon the sight of Madoka and Constance talking. Upon seeing one another, Moira and Constance instantly became more aggressive. Madoka smiled at her son and looked at Constance. "Constance, this is my eldest, Naruto. Naruto, this is our Neighbor, Constance Langdon."

"A pleasure to meet you, ." Naruto intoned, thinking of the hundreds of things he was going to do.

"My what a polite boy you have here." The blonde woman said in a creepy, pedophilic way that put Naruto a little on edge.

Looking at Moira, she raised a brow at the attractive young woman. "Naruto, who is this?"

A lightbulb went off and he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry. Mom this is Moira. Moira, this is my Mom. Moira said that when you bought the house you signed on for a maid."

Madoka idly thought back and remembered that part and nodded. "Very well. We aren't very filthy people, and my son and I pick up after ourselves pretty well, so it's just Hashirama and Miina that you need to worry about. Hours aren't really long, and all you really have to do is some laundry and dishes. The rest we can do."

Naruto snorted and mumbled just loud enough to hear. "Please, you'll try and make the Brat and Pops do it, but after ten minutes of whining, it'll end up just us."

Madoka looked at her son flatly and said. "What was that? You don't want the truck to take your girlfriend out?"

The teen was immediately bowing on the floor, head almost touching the ground. "I apologize from the bottom of my heart, Mother. I did not mean to insult you."

At that moment, Hashirama came through the door...,"Madoka! I cannot find my pants." In his underwear.

Constance flushed and stood before excusing herself to go home, while Moira let out a giggle of amusement by the strange family.

(Later that night- Basement)

The Ghosts of the house convened to listen as Moira gave her report to them. "They seem really nice. The husband really loves his wife and cares deeply for his children. The wife is really nice and runs things. The daughter is a ball of energy." Oh yeah. When Moira met Miina, she was immediately bombarded with the small girl, and made a mental note to not let her have sugar. "The son is nice and polite. He was courteous and he never openly stared at my breasts."

A male voice said in a deep voice. "So? What are we going to do?"

Another voice sounded out from the dark, this one more gentle and motherly. "We introduce ourselves as neighbouring families, and see how this turns out."

Moira nodded as she looked at a single figure brooding in the corner. "And what about you, Tate? Gonna make a friend?"

Tate stepped into the light, revealing a young teen with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He looked at her and said. "Maybe. Maybe Violet and I can make a friend."

"But." The male cut in. "First things first, we introduce ourselves. Then we-"

He was cut off as footsteps were heard and Naruto's head peered around the corner of the stairwell. The Ghosts all turned invisible and watched as he looked around. He stepped into the light and revealed his night clothing, which consisted of a black muscle shirt and red boxers.

"Thought I heard voices down here." He mumbled. Running a hand through his hair, he paused and turned to a sudden shuffling sound, even as the ghosts remembered the other resident of the basement.

Thaddeus.

The eighteen year old slowly approached where it came from and clenched his fist. Tensing, he pulled back the sheets to see...

...a rocking horse.

He sighed in annoyance as he glared at the ancient toy. "Shit. Was just a rocking horse. Wait, why the fuck is there a rocking horse?"

He looked at the thing in confusion before he shrugged and walked to the stairs, climbing them again. Pausing at the step, he turned back and seemed to look directly at each of the ghosts before he smirked to himself, as if he knew they were there.

Once he left, they all sighed in relief. It was a close call, and only the timely intervention of Chad and Patrick stopped the Infanta from reacting violently to the presence of the young man. It would have been very difficult to play off his death if he was killed, only to be brought back by the house and it's ancient curse.

The group all looked at each other and nodded as they set their minds on what to do. The first male spoke to them as a group. "Alright, Violet and tate will befriend the boy, while myself and Montgomery befriend the father, then Vivian and Nora will befriend the mother."

The first woman, Vivian, spoke up. "What about their little girl, Ben?"

The man, Ben, just grimaced as he said. "We'll deal with that later."

(With Naruto)

Sitting on his bed, Naruto flipped through the pages of a magazine. He was really bored. When he heard the voices in the basement he did what was natural, he investigated. He began to think for a bit before his door was opened and Miina ran in, wearing pink footed pajamas, squealing as she jumped onto his bed.

Sighing, he smiled at his baby sister and said. "You wanna sleep with me tonight, huh?"

The small girl just nodded as she said in a quiet voice. "I don't wanna be alone."

Naruto gave her a grin, revealing his pearly white teeth. "Miina, so long as I live, no one, no matter who or what they are, will ever hurt you. I will protect you."

Miina looked confused for a moment. "But...why?"

"Because, it is the job of the Older Sibling to protect the younger ones. If I don't do that, then what kind of brother would I be?"

Putting the magazine away and pulling the black covers on his bed back, he slipped in alongside Miina who cuddled immediately into his side. Yawning, she said in a tired voice. "Big Brother, I love you."

She got her answer right after she fell asleep. "Love you too, Miina."

AN: And that ends that. Please tell me what you think, and give me some ideas as to what you feel I should do. And like I said earlier, I apologize for any OOCness that most likely will occur.

Next chapter is some steamy scenes between Madoka and Hashirama, as well as Naruto, Karui, and Moira. Not all together, but you know what I mean.

If this gets some good reviews, then I might finish this season and do the next one, and after watching AHS: Coven, I might do that too.

(Omake- Alternative Meeting  
Warning: This Omake may offend some people. The views expressed by the characters portrayed do not reflect the views of the author. Reader Discretion is advised.)

The Ghosts of the house convened to listen as Moira gave her report to them. "They seem really nice. The husband really loves his wife and cares deeply for his children. The wife is really nice and runs things. The daughter is a ball of energy." Oh yeah. When Moira met Miina, she was immediately bombarded with the small girl, and made a mental note to not let her have sugar. "The son is nice and polite. He was courteous and he never openly stared at my breasts."

A male voice said in a deep voice. "So? What are we going to do?"

Another voice sounded out from the dark, this one more gentle and motherly. "We introduce ourselves as neighbouring families, and see how this turns out."

Moira nodded as she looked at a single figure brooding in the corner. "And what about you, Tate? Gonna make a friend?"

Tate stepped into the light, revealing a young teen with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. He looked at her and said. "Maybe. Maybe Violet and I can make a friend."

"But." The male cut in. "First things first, we introduce ourselves. Then we-"

He was cut off as footsteps were heard and Naruto's head peered around the corner of the stairwell. The Ghosts all turned invisible and watched as he looked around. He stepped into the light and revealed his night clothing, which consisted of a black muscle shirt and red boxers.

"Thought I heard voices down here." He mumbled. Running a hand through his hair, he paused and turned to a sudden shuffling sound, even as the ghosts remembered the other resident of the basement.

Thaddeus.

The eighteen year old slowly approached where it came from and clenched his fist. Tensing, he pulled back the sheets to see...

...Two guys banging each other?!

"WHAT THE FUCK!?" Naruto yelled. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! WHY THEFUCK ARE YOU DOING IT IN MY BASEMENT?!"

Patrick looked at him for a moment as he grunted and filled Chad's ass full of his sperm. "Hey! This is a private engagement, please leave. Also, put the cloth back over us. It makes it kinky."

Nodding dumbly, Naruto put the cloth back over them gently and walked softly away, up the stairs, and out of the basement.

The other ghosts gaped as Patrick and Chad got out of the cloth. Ben looked at them and said. "By top him, I meant stop Thadeus. Not fuck each other."

Chad looked at him and said. "it got him to leave."

"That's not the point! You could have scarred him for life!"

"Bitch, I'm fabulous!"

(End Omake)


End file.
